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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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Feeling defeated, I decided to head home. But on my way back, I bumped into my mate Dave. He’s always a laugh. He was like, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I told him about my day, and he just laughed. Classic Dave. He suggested we hit the pub on the corner of The Green. I thought, “Why not? I need a drink.”

Chorley Lancashire County Council local elections 2025 results in full including Euxton, Clayton with Whittle and Hoghton